Won't tell anybody
by Is Sales
Summary: Lily Evans and James Potter were Hogwarts' favorite couple. Except they weren't a couple. They were friends with benefits. Except they weren't friends.
1. Chapter 1

Lily Evans has a perfectly normal life. Well, as normal as you can have when you're a witch. Well, as normal as you can have when you're a student at Hogwarts. In reality, Lily Evans's life was everything but normal, but that's because Lily isn't very normal herself. Her hair is orange, not brown or yellow or black, but orange. Her eyes are of a green that you could see from distance. Her smile is small, but kind. She is short, and she hates when she has to tiptoe to see something. She uses her skirt at knee-length and her doll shoes. She wears her Gryffindor tie with proud, and in the summer she uses to hold her hair up. Lily Evans is great with people and animal, but she is terrified of spiders. She is good at Charms and great Potions, but she is so terrible - even though her terrible is an average to ordinary people - at Transfiguration. She likes to draw and to create. She loves her parents and her sister. She likes to ramble inside and outside her head. She loses her stuff, a lot. She loves to eat, but she can't even make a proper sandwich. She is loving, kind, patient (or at least she tries to), beautiful, smart, melodramatic and funny, but above all things, she is an extraordinary girl who doesn't see herself so extraordinary, and no one sees her as extraordinary as she is. Expect for one person. Who is not her boyfriend.

* * *

"I'm breaking up with you." He said, biting his lip, and blinking his blue eyes like that would make Lily forgive him.  
"What?" She said, exasperated. "You've got to be kidding me." She added, snorting.  
"Well, it wasn't working."  
"Of course it was!" Lily exclaimed.  
"My exams are near and..."  
"The year just started."  
"I'm too old for you."  
"You're a year older than me."  
He bit his lip harder, thinking of more excuses, while Lily crossed her arms, full of fury.  
"Ok, Lily... I'm going to tell you the truth."  
"Yes?"  
"You're too... How do I say it without being rude? Well, you're... clingy."  
"_Clingy_?!" Lily asked. "I am not..."  
"Yes you are. And it's not a bad thing! It isn't a good thing either but..."  
"I know I've been a little… needy." She allowed. "Since that fight with Severus, I mean Snape! But it just because I need someone to rely to and you're my boyfriend!"  
"I was your boyfriend." He mumbled.  
"Yes. Was. Do you really need to remind me that?" Lily snapped.  
"Sorry. We can still be friend though?" He asked hesitantly.  
"Friends! No. We can't be friends, Luca. And I'm late." She said, turning away. She wasn't really late. She had ten minutes to get to class, but he didn't need to know that.

* * *

A break up and Transfiguration on the first Wednesday of the year. Differently from other people, Lily hated Wednesday, not Monday. Close to the end of the week but not enough to be happy about it. A stupid, stupid day that didn't let her divide the week in two perfects parts. She also hated Transfiguration. No, she despised it. Why would she want to turn a dog into a rock? It was useless and her rock always ended up with stupid doggish ears. Transfiguration wasn't black or white. Lily loved black or white. Or a dog, or a rock. Not something in between, like a rock with ears. No grey. Just black or white.  
"Need a little help there, Evans?" Someone asked her.  
"No, thank you." She replied, staring and her rock with ears.  
"You rock has ears."  
"I noticed that."  
"Rocks aren't supposed to have ears."  
"I know that."  
"You do know you're supposed to get the dog back right?"  
"Yes, I am aware of that, thank you. Again."  
"We only have ten minutes."  
"I kn... Ten minutes? Oh God. I'm going to freak out. I'm freaking out."  
"Want some help?"  
"Yes. Please." Lily looked up from her rock to the person in front of her. "You!" On this moment, Lily found out God was punishing her because she didn't go to her mother's church summer camp.  
"Me!" The boy said, smiling at her. His hair was wet and spiky, apparently, James Potter showered in the mornings. Or he just threw himself at the lake, but that didn't seem likely, and his eyes hidden behind the glasses. "James Potter. At your service."  
"No. No no no. Out. Go far far away. My rock with ears. Just mine."  
"Eight minutes."  
Lily stared at James and James stared at Lily. Lily wanted her perfect credit. James wanted a chance.  
"What do you want?" She asked grimly.  
"A trip to Hogsmeade."  
"The next one is two months away."  
"Walk with me. This Saturday."  
"All evening?"  
"All evening." Lily looked at the rock. And then at James. And then at the ears.  
"Six minutes."  
"Okay, okay, deal!"

* * *

Lily loved Wednesday, she thought while she shifted in her bed on the dormitory. Wednesday was so very much away from Saturday. And Saturday was a terrible day. Without Saturday Lily would be able to split the week in two perfect  
parts and she wouldn't have to meet James Potter for a walk. Not ever. Lily decided now that she hated Fridays, because Fridays were before Saturdays and she dreaded the Saturdays. But she could kiss a Sunday on the mouth because Sundays are in a six days distance of Saturdays. The week was a complicated thing in her life.  
"I should stop believing in this calendar thing." Lily mumbled. She began to wonder about how would be her life if she didn't use dates and weeks. Then she realized that she wouldn't be able to handle, so she turned on her side and closed her eyes to sleep.  
The sun rose and the girls from Lily's room were up, excited about their first weekend back at Hogwarts. Lily opened her eyes and moaned.  
"Please, God, I know I'm not much of a prayer, but take Saturday away from the week and I'll go to a church summer camp."  
But apparently, Lily's connection with God wasn't really special that morning. So she sat down on her bed, and blinked once or twice. Everything was so blurry. Waking up was so hard. She opened the curtains of her bed and looked around. One girl was still fast asleep and the other ran around searching for her clothes.  
"Marlene?" called Lily. "What are you doing?"  
"I've got a date!" The girl replied, her blonde hair long and straight and her brown eyes full of excitement.  
"Really?" Lily and Marlene were not best friends but they were friends. They talked, but Lily talked to everyone. She was indeed good with people, but that doesn't exactly mean that she liked everyone. Like some girls that she shared the room with, that from her point of view, deserved to burn in hell.  
"Yes! With McKinnon. And I am late. Sorry, talk later." She said, trading a t-shirt for a purple blouse.  
"What time is it?" Lily asked while Marlene got her bag and headed to the door.  
"1:30 in the afternoon!" The door closed.  
"Oh God." She got up from her bed and ran to the bathroom. "Of course." She mumbled while she washed her face. "Where the fucking hell is my toothbrush?" Lily Evans swore on two situations only. 1. When she was nervous. 2. When she was in a hurry. "Where are you?" She called. "Wait! I'm a witch. Wand. Where is my wand?" She started playing with her hands, pressing them together and tangling her fingers. "Bed." She ran to the bedroom again, and got her wand. She summoned her toothbrush, and went back to the bathroom, finally being able to brush her teeth. She dropped her toothbrush somewhere and she would probably go through the same emotional-wrecking situation in a few hours, when she won't be able to find it again. She got her green dress that did wonderful things to her skin color and eyes, and got it in her body, then started looking for a shoe. "I should go barefoot." She said, while she put the right shoe first. "And then I'll say 'Oh, hey there Potter. You know I came barefoot because now I'm a hippie.' because that's really better than the truth that is I couldn't sleep last night because of James Let's-Walk-Together-All-Saturday-Evening Potter, so I woke up late."  
She needed to get her hair done. And she didn't have any time.  
"I'm sorry, Maggie." Lily said, when she got her wand and made a spell to get her hair pretty. Maggie Arbald was a famous (or not so famous) writer who said that magic should not be used for cosmetic uses. And Lily believed that philosophy. But she was late. She went to the bathroom to put some make up on but she decided against it. She left the room. Lily Evans was going on a date with James Potter. She went the stairs. This was so wrong.  
"I thought you were going to blow me off!" James was a beautiful man, not that Lily would say that out loud. His hair, once again, was wet and spiky. Lily noticed James has a thing for morning baths. Even though it was two in the afternoon.  
"Never. I just woke up late."  
"All night up thinking about me?"  
Yes.  
"No."  
"Hungry?"  
"Kind of."  
"C'mon, I know a place." He said, holding the portrait open.  
"How can you know a place? We can't leave the school!"

"Oh, honey, you're so naïve. But we're not leaving the school, at least for now."

"If you're taking me somewhere against the rules I really don't feel like I should g…"

"All evening."

"But I…"

"You promised."

"I did not promise."Lily remarked.

"I remember you promising."

"Well, I didn't. Potter, where are you taking me?"

"Special place. You will love me forever."

"I doubt it."

"I don't." He said, and tickled the pear in the painting of a bowl full of fruits.

"Potter, are you utterly insane?" She said, trying to get his hand off the pear. "We came all the way down here so you could tickle a p… The fruit is laughing. The pear is _laughing_." James chuckled at her reaction, and opened the door using the doorknob that was a pear a few seconds ago. A few elves showed up, wanting to help.

"Nothing for now, thank you, Clip." Said James, smiling.

"The kitchens? I didn't know we could enter it!"

"Well, we can't."

Lily stared at him, quietly, while he asked an elf to cut a piece of cake for him.

"Ten minutes with you and I'm already breaking the law."

"Don't be so dramatic, the elves love helping out! Want some cake?"

"No." She replied, sitting down. "I didn't even know Hogwarts had elves."

"Oh, yeah. Hundreds of them. How do you think we get all that food?"

"I should probably create a group defending them." She mumbled.

"What? Why?!"

"Because" she began, looking at James exasperated. "it's slavery!"

"They like it. It's their life. It's what they do."

"Well, they don't know any other way of living, do they?"

James shrugged, because he didn't care and because he had his mouth full of cake.

"Do you have a pen?" Lily asked, marveling at how James' hair looked nice wet. Actually, James' hair was _always _nice. Maybe that's why James keeps touching it. She would probably like to touch it too.

"What the hell is a pen?"

"Forget it. Muggle stuff." She shifted in her chair, looking at an elf. "Can I have some cake, please?"

"And then" She explained. "He just broke up with me. I mean, really? Why? Am I really that terrible? Or annoying? And are we still here eating you invited me for a walk not for a 'let's get Lily fat' session!"

"Did you have sex with him?" James asked, putting a cherry on his mouth.

"Excuse me?" Lily asked, blinking back her tears in surprise.

"Did you have sex with Luca?"

"No! Why are you asking me this?"

"He's seventeen! He wants sex! He probably broke up with you because you're a straight up virgin."

"He wouldn't break up with because of this! He's not… you. And I am not a straight up virgin!"

"Oh, yeah? Did he get to second base?"

"What's second base?"

"For God's sake, Evans!"

"Just because I don't know your stupid sex stuff…"

"Boobs. Did he touch your boobs?"

"Ew, of course not!" James laughed, supporting himself on the table.

"You just said ew!"

"Stop it, it's not funny. I bet you're a virgin too."

Lily knew it was not true. Lily was more than certain that it was not true but she had to say _something_.

"You don't really believe that, do you?"

"No." She admitted. "But I had to say something, didn't I?" He chuckled again, and this time Lily smiled back at him.

"Let's make a deal." He said, sitting himself up.

"I'm a bit scared of your deals. The last one brought me here."

"I'm a sex-addict."

"True."

"And you're a virgin."

"Yes."

"We're perfect together!"

"James, are you insane?" she laughed. "We're the complete opposite. I'll admit, you aren't as bad as I thought you were, but we are not perfect together."

"We complete each other."

"I'm ignoring this part. I still don't get the deal part."

"Friends with benefits!"

"Except for the part we're not friends. Also, I won't have sex with you! I didn't have sex with my boyf- ex boyfriend! Why would I want to have sex with you?"

"Because I'm awesome, and you're awesome, and Luca is as dull as a hippogriff."

"Hippogriffs aren't dull."

"You still understood. So I'm awesome like a hippogriff and he sucks."

"I still don't understand why I would have sex with you."

"You know me since forever, Lils. You can say you lost your virginity to James Potter. I'm pretty. You're pretty. We're outstanding. I showed you how to get to the kitchens. It would make Luca jealous. Need any more reasons?"

"I'm not doing it, Potter."

"Unless you're afraid…"

Lily Evans hated a lot of things. She also loved a lot of things. She didn't come to realize that she loved James Potter at that moment. But she did come to realize that she hated when someone thought she was afraid.

"Let's do it. But no one can know."


	2. Chapter 2

"So, where are we doing it?"  
"I don't know. My bedroom?"  
"Your bedroom? No, no way. Someone might see us."  
"Do you really wanna lose your virginity in a cupboard?"  
"I'm losing my virginity to James Potter, I don't think it can get any worse."  
"Oh, shut up. I'm a romantic." Lily snorted. "I'm not taking away your virginity on a cupboard."  
"You're such a girl." She said.  
"I am not a girl. But once I tried to have sex with a girl in a cupboard and she slapped, not risking that again."  
"Okay, your bedroom. Are you sure it's empty?"  
"At this time at the day? They're probably having dinner. Sirius and Peter would never skip a meal."  
"How about Remus?"  
"Oh, he'll be so embarrassed if he actually spot us that he won't probably see you."  
"Potter!"  
"Okay, we'll close the curtains." He said, ignoring The Fat Lady's exasperated look.  
"Of course we are closing the curtains, you moron."  
James said the password, and they both entered the common room. A few kids from the first year were scattered around.  
"You first." James said, smiling. Lily stared at him, but went up the stairs for the boys' dormitory.  
"Eyes front soldier." Lily alerted when she looked back and saw James staring at her ass.  
"My eyes are always front!" He defended himself. He opened the door, and Lily grimaced. His friends were down, well, at least that. But the mess was unbelievable.  
"Is that a bra?" Lily asked, spotting a red bra on one of the beds.  
"It's Sirius' bed, don't blame me."  
"Oh God." Lily said, wondering if her life would be any better if she became a nun. She probably wouldn't be in this situation. Unless James was a really hot priest. He would really look cute in a priest outfit. Should she ask him to dress a priest to Halloween? Wait. People at Hogwarts don't dress up.  
"So, Lily, how are we..."  
Lily stepped forward and pressed his lips with hers. Her lips were dry and small compared to his, and they didn't fit perfectly like they were meant to be, but they weren't meant to be. She was Lily Evans and he was James Potter, and they were everything except meant to be. But they would figure a way. He slipped a hand behind her neck, and invaded her mouth with his tongue, and Lily responded, teasing him with hers. Lily lowered her hands to his pants, her act slow and uncertain, while his hands went down to her boobs, touching, caressing and making Lily moan softly on his mouth. Her hands lowered the waist of his pants, lowering it until it fell flat on the floor. James kicked his pants away and had a fight with his shoes who apparently didn't want to get out, while Lily kissed his neck, playing with hair. He slowly made his way to the bed, lying down, Lily lowered herself above him, and returned the work she was doing in his neck.  
"We should probably close the curtains." James whispered, playing with the zipper of her dress. Lily giggled, taking his lips once again, but breaking it quickly.  
"Probably." She replied, staying in the same position, and trying to pull the curtains closed. James' fingers brushed Lily's thigh playfully, sometimes wandering way too high, but coming back at a safe distance, marveling how he got the girl he loved and hated him in this situation. He used to act like he was the king of the world, that he could do anything he wanted to, that he could get anything he wanted, but that wasn't the truth. He smiled and laughed a great deal, but only when we thought someone could see him. Lily was perfect for him, she smiled not because she had to but because she wanted to. She helped everyone, even people she hated, because she wanted to make everyone better. James hardly helped anyone but their friends, and he admitted he was extremely mean to people he hated. He remembered that day after the O. , when he provoked Snape and he called Lily a mudblood. Since that day, he couldn't help but feel guilty. He may hate Snape, but he was Lily's best friend and made her happy. All he wanted was Lily to be happy. No one understood what he saw on her. Everyone just saw her like a smart ginger muggle-born girl. No one noticed the way she liked to bite her fork, or how she gesticulate a lot, how she write songs lyrics in her hands, and draws on her papers. No one got her. No one properly understood the complexity of Lily Evans. James was just a stupid boy who got laid way too many times, and here he was, having the chance of having a great girl and probably screwing that up, like every good thing he has on his life.  
"James?" Lily called. "Am I that bad that you already wandering?"  
"Oh, Evans." He replied, sitting up. "You're marvelous." He put his arm around her waist and pulled her closed, locking their lips together. Her breath was warm, and his fingers worked on her zipper, taking more time than necessary because his fingers were tremble. _Get a grip, Potter._ He thought to himself. He had slept with a lot of girls, and not even in his first time he had been so nervous. The zipper was open, and Lily took her dress off, throwing it to the end of the bed. He reached out and touched her boobs again, this time only a pink bra in the way of a skin-on-skin touch. Lily's eager fingers opened the buttons on his shirt, while biting down on his lip. Soon enough they were a mess of skin, underwear and sweat. James reached for Lily's bra clasp, opening with quick. James was always quick with bras, it didn't matter how nervous is was. He gaped at her boobs. They weren't huge, but they weren't small either. He planted soft kisses in her shoulders, making his way down. Lily sighed softly, unconsciously dropping her head back. He smiled against her boobs, and put his hands on her waist band, slowly lowering her underwear. Lily locked her legs around his waist, and his erection pressed against her. She started to take his boxers off, but stopped.  
"Did you bring protection?" She asked, her eyes suddenly wide. He chuckled, and brushed their lips together.  
"We're wizards. We don't need protection. I know a spell." She smiled, slightly embarrassed.  
"Let's get down with it before I come to my senses again." Lily said, finally letting him naked. Their mouths didn't fit perfectly, but their bodies did. Lily moaned when she felt him inside her, his breath on her neck, hot and quick. It hurt, but not as much as she was expecting to, and quickly her body was filled with pleasure. James pounded her, and she lifted his face to take his lips. It was a mess of groans, moans, tongues and bodies. After a few minutes, James' orgasm came, but he kept kissing her. They pulled apart. She breathed quickly, her chest going up and down. James dropped his body, and Lily lay besides him, using his blanket to cover her breast. For the first time in his life, James really wanted to cuddle. To brush her gently and say she was perfect. But they weren't a couple. And they would probably never be. So he got his wand and murmured the spell, without looking at her at trying not to think too much.  
"I just lost my virginity with James Potter." She muttered. "If I wasn't going to hell, I sure am now."  
"It wasn't that bad."  
"No, it was great. That's why I'm going to hell."  
James laughed, and played with her hair.  
"You have sex wearing socks." Lily pointed out.  
"You have sex wearing your shoes."  
"Touché."  
Someone opened the door and entered the room, and Lily jumped up, letting the blanket fall.  
"Prongs!" Called Sirius. "Are you there?" James opened enough of the curtain so he could put his face out.  
"Yes. And I have company. Out, please."  
"A girl?"  
"No, Padfoot. A boy, it's actually Remus. Of course it's a girl!"  
"Who?"  
"You won't believe, its Ev-"  
Lily bit James' hard strongly.  
"Ouch! Why would you do that for?"  
"Don't tell him it's me!" Lily whispered.  
"Evelyn."  
"I don't know any Evelyn."  
"She is a ravenclaw."  
"Can I see her?"  
Lily bit him even harder.  
"Love, there's no need to be so rough." Lily stared at him, deadly. The look didn't have much of an effect because they were both naked, and Lily looked kinda of hot with that stare. "Padfoot! Where are you manners? I got a girl, out!"  
Sirius chuckled.  
"Don't worry, Prongs. I just came to get the map." He said, grabbing a piece of paper. "Have fun you two." He said, winking and leaving the room. Lily were midway a search for her bra.  
"For God's sake, where did you put my bra?"  
"I was too busy looking somewhere else."  
"Yes." Lily said. "Like my boobs. What is up with my things? They always disappear. All the time. I think they plotting against me or something like that. Like this morning I lost my toothbrush. Who in the world is capable of that? Sorry, I'm rambling. I do that a lot."  
"No problem." James said, looking at her. She found her bra and quickly put them on, and processed to searching her underwear.  
"We don't talk about it outside this bedroom, okay? We aren't friends. Or a couple, for that matter."  
"Wait, you wanna keep going?"  
"Well, of course!" Lily exclaimed, then blushed when she realized she had just openly admitted that she wanted to keep having sex with James Potter. Potter grinned. "Anyway." She kept going. "We can't just do it here. It's too dangerous, someone might see us, because your friends aren't exactly best friends with privacy, and me, a girl, going to the boys' dormitory is kinda suspect. I mean, even the girls from the first year will know someone is getting laid."  
"Where do you plan to do it then?" James asked, using his best I-am-better-than-you grin to hide the fact that he wanted people to know that they were together.  
"I don't know! Anywhere. Cupboards. The castle is big enough, we'll find somewhere."  
"Lily, do you have some kind of fetish for cupboards?"  
"Shut up."  
Lily opened the curtain and raised herself, completely dressed again.  
"Were are you going?"  
"My room. Don't tell me the great James Potter is a cuddle fan."  
"No, of course not. But most girls are."  
"Most girls wouldn't become friends with benefits with someone they aren't even friends. Lily Evans is not most girls."  
She pressed her lips to his, and gave him a smile.  
"They said that once you do it for the first time you get addicted."  
"I'm not getting addicted to you, Potter." She replied, closing the door behind her.  
"I've created a monster."

* * *

So it was my first smut and I kinda suck at doing it idk. Anyway thank you for the alerts and the favorites, and please review!


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh God." Lily whispered in his mouth. He grinned.  
"Yeah, I know."  
"No, I'm late." She said quickly, pressing their lips together, and put her skirt down.  
"You're late? For what?!" James asked, while she raised his underwear. "Oi!"  
"For class, of course!"  
"For class?" He asked, in disbelief. "So let me get this straight. You spent the whole damn week saying you wanted to do it in a cupboard, and then you just leave after 5 minutes?"  
"I told you, Potter." She said, closing her buttons. "I have classes. And unlike you, I care about my grades."  
James pouted at her, or more precisely, at her breasts.  
"Five more minutes." He pleaded, lacing her waist with his arms.  
"I'm not your mother." She chuckled, trying to release herself. "Pretty please." He said, caressing her arms.  
"It's transfiguration. Do you what happens when I miss one transfiguration class?"  
"Well, I sure know what happens when you attend one, which is..."  
"Shut up." She got her tie, and started holding her hair up.  
"What the hell are you doing?"  
"A ponytail."  
"With your tie?"  
"Well, of course. It's hot in here."  
"It's a cupboard and we were shagging."  
"Ugh, Potter." She said, struggling with her hair.  
"What? Do you want me to say fucking?"  
"Just don't say anything."  
"Not saying won't erase what you did."  
"James, honey." Lily said, finally getting her ponytail perfectly. "Do you like our agreement?"  
"Yes, I love it."  
"So shut up and see if we can get out of here, yes?"  
"I'm not checking, you do it!"  
"People can't see me sneaking out of cupboards!" Lily exclaimed.  
"And they can see me?"  
"Well, they are sure used to it!"  
"I told you I avoid having sex in cupboards! Don't you pay any attention for what I say?"  
"Actually, no, I don't." James grimaced. "Don't be such a girl and just go check it!"  
"God, Evans, are you pmsing?" He said, putting his head under her arm and reaching for the door knob. "Because seriously, I gotta know. I can buy you chocolates."  
"Have I told you to shut up lately?"  
"Yes, quite a lot. It's clean, let's go."  
He left first, tangling himself with her, and almost falling once he was out. Lily went out after, getting their bags and closing the door.  
"Don't buy me chocolate." She said. "We are not dating. We are just..." She stopped, staring at him. She breathed deeply and closed her eyes. "shagging." James smirked.  
"Yeah, okay." He said.  
"Aren't you coming?"  
"Nah." He shook his head. "Betters things to do."  
"Right. The great life of James Potter." She rolled her eyes. Lily collected her bag from the floor. "See you later, James."  
"See you later, Lils." She smiled at him, and waved. James grinned back at her, so she turned on her back and left, half walking, half jogging, through the hall.  
"Yes." He murmured, getting his bag. "Just shagging."

* * *

James Potter hated this feeling in his stomach. It was weird. No, it was more than weird, it was absurd. He was shagging Lily Evans. Lily freaking Evans. The girl he asked out since 3rd year, when he was a little prat (he was still a prat, but at least he wasn't little), and she always refused him. But now, he was shagging with her.  
"So why" he thought to himself, bitter. "Why in the whole world am I felling like this?"  
He was, right now, lying on his bed, wearing nothing but his underwear, smoking his cigarette. James was, if you can say it like this, the stereotype quarterback, except he was a chaser. He was the boy all girls wanted to be with. Except, of course, Lily Evans. Sirius Black entered the room, tossing his bag to one side of the room and his tie to the other one.  
"Hi." He said, sitting on his bed and looking at the smoke James blew.  
"Want one?"  
"Nah, I'm quitting."  
"You quit every two weeks."  
"Well this time is for real."  
"It's always for real." James said.  
"What are you doing here? Don't you have Potions or something?"  
"I'm skipping it today."  
"Why?  
Because I don't wanna see Evans and be stupid around her.  
"Does it need a reason?" James questioned, careless.  
"Point taken." Sirius said, getting a piece of paper and a quill. He dripped it slow and carefully into the ink, and started drawing.  
"I'm going to be an artist too. At least I could drop potions, like you."  
Sirius stopped drawing and raised his eyes to James, frowning his eyebrows, analyzing him.  
"You couldn't be an artist, Prongs. You don't have the soul for it."  
"I have soul!" James defended himself.  
"Yes, for fighting the dark side and this shit. Not for art!"  
James rolled his eyes.  
"Whatever."  
They returned to what they were doing. Sirius, his drawing. James, his cigarette. They usually did this. James blowing off smoke into the air and Sirius scratching the paper with his quill, once in a while tossing the paper to the floor.  
"You're a bit off lately." Sirius murmured.  
"What?" He asked, pretending he didn't understand.  
"Prongs, you're always dazing off, not only on classes. It's been a week or so. You barely talk to us anymore. What happened, dude?"  
"Nothing happened. I'm fine!"  
"Don't give me this bullshit! I know you. Something's up and I don't feel like punching it out of you."  
"Ok. But you can't tell anyone."  
"Just tell me."  
"And you won't believe it."  
"Just fucking tell me, Prongs!"  
"No fucking way." Sirius said, swearing again.  
"I told you that you wouldn't believe it."  
"It's not even the slightest possible!" He exclaimed, rising from his bed. "How? When did this happen?"  
"A few days ago."  
"Oh my god!" Sirius screamed, realization spreading in his face. "That girl! Was it…"  
"Yes."  
Sirius sat down on his bed again.  
"You shagged Lily Evans."  
"I did." James said, quite proudly. He liked to hear this words out loud.  
"She was naked in your bed. Does she have big tits?"  
"What?" He asked, suddenly offended. Sirius repeated his question. "Well, I don't know, I didn't notice." It was a lie. Of course he did. They were perfect. Or maybe he just thought they were perfect because they were Lily's and everything about Lily seemed like perfection.  
"Of course you did!"  
"I was too busy thinking I was shagging Evans!"  
"What kind of guy doesn't look at the tits? Don't be such a pussy!"  
"I don't know, dear God, stop it!"  
"You're a disgrace." Sirius said, shaking his head.  
Their conversation was stopped by an abrupt opening of the door. Lily entered, and Sirius couldn't help but smirk. James stared at him, but it didn't came out right, because he looked kind of desesperate. Sirius held in his chuckle, and casually rested his head on his pillow, pretending not to care about the girl in his room.  
"Can I talk to you, Potter?" Lily asked, her bag on her shoulder. Her hair was still tied with her tie, but the ponytail was a bit frail by now. Her sleeves were up, and her hand was dirty with ink.  
"Yes. Of course." He said, getting up and leaving through the open door and not bothering in saying goodbye to Sirius. Sirius waved, smiling at Lily, right before she left the room. When the door was closed and he was like, he finally let out his chuckle, thinking of how much James looked like a needy puppy around the girl he fancied. Outside the room, James asked Lily what was wrong.  
"You missed Potions." She whispered, angrily. James' eyebrow did this weird thing when he feels like raising it and frowning it at the same time, when neither happens but both do. Just like you feel like crying and laughing at the same time.  
"Well, yeah." He said simply. "Didn't feel like it."  
"You didn't feel like it?" Lily asked, considering hitting the boy in the head. Maybe it would smash some sense inside his tiny little brain, she thought.  
"What's the big deal?" James said, putting his hands on his pocket, trying to be relaxed. It was easier acting when you had an audience that had to believe his act. He needed to look unaffected by her presence. Relaxed, like she wasn't the thing that made his world keep going. But she was. Oh dear Lord, she was. She was everything that was good and sweet about this damned world and he felt so cheesy thinking like this but he just couldn't help it.  
"We had to do an essay. A big, big essay." She whispered, her voice sounding dangerous. "I got in the class early. But no one sat with me." She said, her eyes looking quite sad in a glimpse, but it was quickly substituted by anger. "I had to do it alone."  
"Was it really big?" James asked, still uncertain of the point of the conversation.  
"I almost didn't finish it. But you know what I did?"  
"No." He replied. Lily stared at him.  
"It was rhetorical. And I put your name on my essay. I put both of your names. Because I didn't want you to get a negative note or something."  
"Oh." James said, blinking once or twice not believing Lily actually thought of him when she really didn't have to. Not believing that she did a favor to him without him asking. "That's… really nice of you." He said, and noticing that he sounded a bit way too nice and gentle, he added "Lils. But did you really come all the way up here just to say that?"  
Lily bit her lips and stared at the floor.  
"You're really going to make me say it?"  
"Say what?" James asked, not understanding it.  
"God, James."  
"It's not a big deal, just say it."  
"I can't say it out loud." She whispered, her face turning slightly red.  
"Why not?"  
"It's weird."  
"Just say it!"  
Lily took a deep breath. Or two deep breaths. Or maybe three. God, she hated sounding so…. Slutty. Perhaps she was clingy. No, she wasn't. Her ex was an asshole. A complete asshole. It wasn't her fault. But maybe it was the reason she lost everyone. She loved people too much, and people sometimes didn't love her back with that intensity.  
"I want sex." She said, quietly. James couldn't help but grin.  
"You do know some people can get addicted to sex right?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.  
"Yes. I do. Now let's go."  
"Where?"  
"Somewhere. I don't know. I'm not an expert."  
"Sirius is in my room." James said.  
"And you hate cupboards."  
"We could do it in an empty classroom."  
"Like on the tables?" she asked, her eyes widening with shock. "God, people do that?"  
James thought how it was possible that Lily sounded so adorable when they were talking where they would fuck.  
"Well, yeah."  
"They do it on the tables? The tables we use to study? I can be studying near someone's cum?"  
"If you look that way…"  
"I bet I already studied in a table that Lana Moseley's ass was on. That girl is a slut. She literally had sex with all Slytherin boys and girls. And she's not even in their house!"  
"Isn't that kinda what you're doing?" James asked, uncertain if it was a good question to ask in the situation.  
"Do you wanna do it or what?" Lily snapped.  
"Jesus, fine."  
"How are we going to know that it's empty? And what if someone sees us?"  
"We can lock the door."  
"We can't lock the door, you moron. It's Hogwarts!"  
"Live a little! Carpe Diem!"  
"I don't believe you know what that means." Lily said, skeptically.  
"I don't. I just find a good phrase. I may use it a lot. Let's go."  
"Do this castle even have empty class rooms?" Lily asked when the thought hit her.  
"A lot. And believe me, they are a lot better than cupboards." He replied, while they walked in the hallway.  
"I don't believe that."  
"God dammit woman, do you have a fetish for cupboards?"

"I just find them pretty nice."

"I will _never_ understand that." He said, entering in a room, and closing the door behind Lily. She rolled her eyes, and stepped closer to him, starting to undo his shirt. "Really? Can you just buy me a drink first?"

"I'll send you flowers the next morning." She replied, kissing his lips. He, of course, didn't answer her words, deciding to focus on her kiss. James didn't think he would ever have enough of Lily. Luckily for him, Lily didn't seem pretty fond of the idea of letting him go. She was a bit more desesperate than the usual, biting his mouth, pulling his hair, scratching his back, but he didn't mind. He kissed and touched her back with the same ferocity. She moved her hand down to his pants, opening it and pulling it down. James kissed her neck, holding her thighs and raising her slightly, putting her on the table. In a matter of seconds, her legs were around his waist, pulling him nearer, closer. She spread her legs, and James, lowering his underwear, got inside her. She held in a moan, holding his shoulders. He kept pounding into her, his breath short and quick, her moans were low, and she occasionally held them back biting her lips. James realized he didn't care if it was in a bed, in a table, in a wall, even in a stupid cupboard, he was with Lily, and it would always be the happiest moment of his life over and over again. His orgasm quickly built, and their movement stopped. The both of them just stood there, breathing deeply, looking into each other's eyes.

"Well" Lily said after a few moments of silence. "That... was good."

"Yeah." James agreed, quickly. "You're getting good at this."

* * *

God, I'm a terrible writer, sorry it took so long ):

And I can't cope with smut omg I just get embarrased writing


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